Wednesday, 8 January 2014

Relationship #3 -abuse

Hey guys, so this is carrying on from the series I started last year. I've noticed there have been an increasing amount of awareness adverts for domestic violence, which is amazing. I have wanted to make a post on this for like ages but I always got distracted by another but luckily it ties in quite nicely with all the awareness that's going on at the moment and this little series. If you haven't seen them here are the kind of adverts I'm talking about.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ylznk6GvhwE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AegdywmDZ60

I think the second one with Keira knightly is really powerful but also the first which you might have seen recently reminds people about the different types of abuse, physical, mental, financial, sexual and more. If you're going through this I know it must be so hard for you and feel like there is no escape but I can honestly promise you there is so much help. Even typing the words into Google 'domestic violence' there s instantly so many websites and links of charities and centres and numbers that can help. There's different ones for different cases like if you're in a homosexual relationship or if the abuse is from a parent or a sibling.  You might be worried that because your abuse isn't obvious abuse like physical that it doesn't count but it does. Things like putting you down constantly or being extremely jealous and not letting you go out with friends any more, are they excessively checking up on you so much so you feel like you're being suffocated or putting limits on how much money you spend. You yourself might not class it as 'abuse' but when things that are starting to make you uncomfortable it's time to have a word with them or call of the relationship. All relationships have their ups and downs but there is literally no excuse for violence. Ever. Don't even tell yourself that it was just the once or they'll never do it again because they said so and they made it up to you and all this stuff, it's unacceptable and you need to get out of there. Fast. It may feel like because you have children you can't or because they're controlling your money you can't but do you want you children growing up in that situation? Also you may feel reluctant to come forward if you are a male and you don't think you'll be taken as seriously but there are websites just for male's and it is not shamfull to admit it, that goes for everyone. It's not your fault. If you're being psychologically abused you can be made to feel so bad about yourself that you think it's your fault this is happening. I assure you it is not and you should never feel like you deserve to be hurt.  I hope this information makes you think more about coming forward and here are some links I've collected that I hope will help.

Recognising the signs:
http://www.helpguide.org/mental/domestic_violence_abuse_types_signs_causes_effects.htm

This website is fantastic, this is a link to a page full of links when you can get help,  including broken rainbow (hetrosexual relationship abuse) woman's aid and mans aid .
 http://thisisabuse.direct.gov.uk/need-help

Domestic violent myths:
http://thisisabuse.direct.gov.uk/faq/view/6/worried-about-abuse

I will be back next week with a book series review. I hope you're all okay and I know you're strong enough to do this.

Eleanor x