January Round up - a catch up

Hey guys! January has nearly ended and it feels like it has been going on for ages! I feel like I have done so much this month and theres a lot that has happened this month that I am really proud of and I wanted to write a little catch up post on what I've done this January! I think sometimes it's nice to look back on a month and think "actually, I am doing okay!" and that's really what I've felt like this month and we are so used to being critical of ourselves and focusing on what we haven't done, that I really want to talk about what I have done! This month I really felt like Woah...what happened to Eleanor and where did she go? Because I've stepped so far out of my comfort zone.

First of all, to kick start the new year I bought my own blog domain! I have talked about this a lot on twitter already so I won't bang on too much about it! But I am so proud to have finally done it and I feel way more professional now! I also finally made a media kit! I have wanted to for ages and I sat down and spent a few hours making one and I really love it, again it just makes me feel a lot more professional as a blogger.

So I decided to stay on to do a masters for next year. I was going through a bit of turmoil over Christmas and I was really struggling (honestly made kind of worse by my family) about what I want to do next year, so I bit the bullet and made the decision to apply for two masters at the Uni I am currently at. One in clinical psychology and the other in mental health and wellbeing. They both look really good so I have written an application and will hopefully get that sent off next month!

Another related thing is that I have secured a house for next year. I get a lot of anxiety about student houses and the costs and deposits so I was really dreading doing it again for next year but I have done and me and two other girls have a house sorted out which is pretty exciting and I am really proud that we got it sorted out so quickly, we literally viewed one house  and just went for it!

Another thing I am really proud of that I had to mention was that I went to my very first blogging event! I wrote a blog post all about it on Monday which you can read about here. I had a really lovely time and I was a little nervous going to an event on my own. Again I'm not going to blab on about this as you guys are probably sick of hearing about it now! But definitely a big step for me!

Another random thing I did this month that was way out of my comfort zone was going Paintballing. I was pretty nervous, and it was pretty painful! But I did it despite feeling really scared about it but I pushed past it and went for it!

I received a mid 1st in my biology essay (a critical evaluation of an elevated negative feedback system in the hypothalamic pituitary adrenal axis towards post-traumatic stress disorder, just in case you were wondering which you probably weren't). I honestly was so scared about this essay I did not do well at bio in high school so this essay was the bane of my life for so long but I felt like I really pulled it out of the bag and I know it's annoying when people bang on about grades but I just feel so proud that I managed to do that!

Other uni-related accomplishments is that I have begun drafting my dissertation and I am hoping I am in quite a good position for February!

I hope you enjoyed this little catch-up post! What have you done this month that you're proud of?
Lots of love,
Eleanor x

My First Blogging Event

Hey guys! I hope you are doing well. I have some pretty exciting news because on Saturday I went to my first ever blogging event in Nottingham! I was pretty nervous but it it was a really good event and I had so much fun and even met up with some bloggers after the event for coffee which was really nice. So I thought I would talk about the event and share some of the photos I took on the day.

So the event was held by Jess Berry (http://www.jesswho.co.uk/) at the flour mill in Beeston in Nottingham which is a really cool photography studio. I'm not familiar with the area so I was a bit nervous about getting a tram on my own and walking! But I found it pretty well and Jess and the rest of the girls had set up the room in such a nice way with balloons and fairy lights and such cute pots of sweets and pop! It was adorable and so Instagramable! Jess is the Nottingham Queen Bee for the  Bumble app, which is a great app that can be used for meeting people in a variety of ways, to date, to meet friends or to network. I have been playing around with this app and finding people to talk to on it and it's honestly so much fun and completely free!

So we had two guest speakers on the day. The first was Holly from A branch of Holly (http://abranchofholly.com/). She was speaking to us about SEO and improving our content and getting ourselves into a better position on search engines. It was so good to have a little crash course in how to improve our blogs and content and it was so nice to listen to someone who knows so much about blogging and I really picked up a load of tips from her that I definitely want to put into practice!

The second speaker was Rys (http://www.rhysthe.com/) who is a professional photographer and who was giving us tips on how to take flat lays and other photos for our blog! It was really interesting to listen to him speak and to give us some tips for taking photos which is definitely something I need to improve on this year!

After the event, I went with Beka and Sam to get a hot drink (it was quite cold in there!) we went to this cute tea shop and I got a latte! But I spilt it all over the table which was quite embarrassing! But it was really nice to meet some new lovely people! It was so refreshing too as I spend most of my time in the library or chilling at home so it was nice to spend some time somewhere new!

I really enjoyed this day and I am definitely keeping my eye out for more events with Bumble in the Nottingham area to try something new!
Lots of love,
Eleanor x

How to be kind on a budget

Hey guys! I hope you are doing well! Today's post is a completely spontaneous one as I didn't even plan to write a post today but the idea came to me and I really wanted to share! Today is national kindness day and sometimes it can feel like you are not doing enough especially if you are on a budget! So I thought I would share some ways to be kind to people that don't cost a thing!

1) Play games to donate! This is a cool website which you can play games and for every answer, you get right they will donate rice to world food program! A fun way to procrastinate while also doing something nice!

2) Volunteer. charities and organisations love to have some volunteers so why not do something nice by giving up some of your time!

3) Compliment someone. Everyone loves receiving a nice genuine compliment so for the next person you see tell them one genuine thing you like about them/ their outfit.

4) Donate blood. Donating blood isn't for everyone but if you are up for it it would be a great way to help someone!

5) Text someone and tell them you love them! It's so nice to receive a nice unexpected text and it's a great way to make someone's day!

6) Send someone a letter. Not many people send letters nowadays and I am sure the person receiving the letter will love the effort you have put into it!

7) Buy someone their favourite snack. This is a little gift that won't cost you much and you can really cheer someone up with it!

8) Leave a comment on a post/ Instagram. This is more towards bloggers. but you could definitely leave a comment on your friend's new selfie too! I love it when people take the time to write something nice in my post!

9) Ask someone how they are. This is something that might seem trivial but can really make a difference to them. Listen carefully to what they have to say too!

10) Make someone a cup of tea. This is a really small thing that will mean a lot to someone!

11) Donate your loose change. All change adds up and if you have got a lot of it why not donate it or pop it into a charity box!

There you are, a few ways to make someone's day!
I hope you enjoyed this post,
Lots of love,
Eleanor x

A little catch up...

Hey guys! I hope you are doing well! For today's blog post I felt like doing a chatty catch up style post and tell you about some of the things that have been happening in my life recently. I have a few crappy things to talk about that I sort of want to get off my chest but I also have some nicer stuff too!

First of all, I want to talk about the crappy stuff that I've been going through. Life has been a bit shitty throughout October actually and it's been quite a difficult time for various reasons. Unfortunately, we had to put my cat down last week and it hit me pretty hard. He was pretty old and he was not eating anymore and the vet just couldn't do anything. Honestly really horrible i mean it's never easy to lose a pet because they're like a part of your family and it's been awful because I have been at uni while it's been happening so I feel like I sort of missed out on saying goodbye. We lost my other cat in March and it's been quite hard to say goodbye to them both.
Also, I have received some pretty bad news that a family member of mine has cancer and another person who is dear to me has also been diagnosed with cancer which is always pretty hard to hear.

I started third year recently and I already feel behind! It's really hard to focus on work at uni when all you can think about is what's happening at home and third year is extremely stressful. I'm still not 100% sure what i even want to do with my life really and I am feeling so much pressure to pick something to do. I just don't know whether to do a masters or get some experience or what so I am definitely feeling under a lot of stress right now.

However, I am enjoying my third year actually. Despite all the stress I am enjoying my modules and I really like my dissertation and just generally enjoying being with my housemates for our last year together. I am thinking about maybe doing a whole blog post talking about my modules and my dissertation but I am not sure if you guys would really be interested!
I also have a reading week next week and I am looking forward to spending a few days at home and hopefully relaxing a little bit. 

There have been some nice moments recently too. I went to a wedding and we went out for Halloween which was so much fun! I will put a picture in of my Halloween outfit, I was Avril Lavigne! Our theme was pop stars and it was a pretty fun night!

So yeah guys I hope you enjoyed this I feel like it's nice sometimes to talk about the things that are on my mind and that I have been up to and stuff.
Lots of love,
Eleanor x

Things I don't regret

Hey guys! I am doing a slightly different post today, it is about the things I don't regret doing. I haven't done a personal post in a while so I thought this would be a good idea!

The first thing I don't regret is getting into a relationship young. I think a lot of people maybe regret getting into a relationship quite young but I don't. I got with my boyfriend when I was 15, which some people may think is too young to get into a serious relationship but me and Luke getting together was actually one of the best things that ever happened to me so I don't regret it at all!

Another thing I don't regret is going to university. Going to uni is a big decision for a lot of people, it's a lot of money and it can be quite scary. I think I've become a lot more independent since going and I think that I learnt a lot about myself and it has opened up a lot more doors. Sometimes the stress makes me think that it was a bad idea but when it comes to it I think I made the right decision.

Going to uni with a boyfriend. This is another thing that a lot of people are weird about, especially if you're moving a fair distance from your boyfriend/girlfriend. Long distance does put a bit of a strain on any relationship and a lot of people are worried about the "temptations" that university can bring. But I don't regret staying with my boyfriend throughout university and we have definitely made it work despite sometimes going for a month without seeing him.

Starting a blog. I decided to start this blog four years ago thinking no one would really bother reading it. Okay so I still think that but I definitely don't regret starting a blog and putting my thoughts and myself out there. It is nerve racking to write about some things but I have talked to many people through blogging who are so nice and supportive and that have made me really thankful I started one.

Learning an instrument. My mum made me learn piano when I was six and I hated it honestly I hated learning it and my teacher. But now I'm actually really pleased that I did learn it because its such a good party trick and to release some stress.

Change. As I have gotten older some of my views have definitely changed and some parts of myself too and I think that's a good thing in many ways. I don't regret change because it's turning me into a better person!

Mistakes. This is kind of a cliche but I don't regret any stupid thing or mistakes that I have made because everything has made me into the person I am today and have made me who I am so I definitely don't regret any of it.

There are the things I don't regret! I hope you enjoyed this post!
Lots of love,
Eleanor x

40 Self care ideas

Hey guys! I hope you are well! Today I want to share with you some ideas for self-care. In our busy schedules, it can be really hard to put some effort into ourselves and making ourselves feel good. Life can get really hectic and it is really important to take stress breaks, even if it is just for a few minutes a day just to feel a bit better. So I thought I would share with you some self-care ideas!

1) Take a bath with a bath bomb
2) Light a scented candle
3) Read a book (if you are looking for inspiration join my new book club on twitter @ lilposbookclub)
4) Take some time to go outside and get some fresh air
5) Have an early night
6) Buy yourself some flowers
7) Do some yoga (Yoga with Adriene has some amazing videos for anxiety)
8) Eat some fruit
9) Put a face mask on and relax watching youtube
10) Watch your favourite film
11) Learn a new skill (You could download Duolingo, a free app which lets you learn a new language)
12) Have a clear out and tidy your room
13) Call a friend
14) Cook a new meal (try deliciously Ella's website, she puts up loads of healthy recipes)
15) Take time to plan your day out
16) Paint your nails
17) Slow down and be present, even if it's just for five minutes
18) Allow yourself to have a recharge day
19) Get yourself into the habit of having a filling, healthy breakfast such as porridge
20) Read positive posts and affirmations (check out this blog here, it encourages self-improvement and mindfulness and self-care. If you're looking for motivation this will help!)
21) Write down some things you are grateful for
22) Prepare a pamper box for yourself. You could fill it with a new DVD, some lovely shower/bath products, some comfy pyjamas ect.
23) Do some exercise (I love blogilaties on youtube she has some amazing workouts and you'll feel so good after them!)
24) Have a nice hot drink, some hot chocolate, coffee, tea, or some water and lemon.
25) Eat a meal (or maybe some chocolate) slowly and take time to appreciate how it tastes.
26) Write down the things you love about yourself
27) Find satisfaction in what you are doing
28) Time manage between working and relaxing
29) Do a random act of kindness to someone, surprise them with a coffee or their favorite food.
30) take a social media break for an hour
31) Write a letter to a friend
32) Give yourself a little massage
33) Put on your favourite songs and have a dance around your room
34) Give yourself permission to say no
35) Create a goal and stick with it (to drink more water or to read more ect)
36) Get dressed up, do makeup and put together a nice outfit. You'll feel amazing, even if its just to go to the shops!
37) Make a list of the things that are getting you down and think about what you can do about them
38) Step out of your comfort zone
39) Go for a bike ride
40) Treat yourself to a blow dry and wash at the hairdressers.

There you have some of my ideas for self care! They range in price (most are free!) and time so hopefully everyone will be able to find something they can do! Or maybe even try to do one every day for the next 40 days!
Lots of love,
Eleanor x

There's bravery in being soft

Hey guys today I have a little extra post, sort of one of my old style posts or my little thoughts about I quote I saw yesterday. I wrote this post as a note on my phone yesterday and I wanted to share it so I hope you enjoy.

I have always been a sensitive girl. The kids at primary school used to call me sensitive, I guess I've always been quite fragile, it doesn't take much to knock me off guard or make me upset. When I was a child, I remember frequently being told I needed to toughen up or I wouldn't make it through life. Yes as I've got older I have toughened up a little bit, I am more likely to say what's on my mind or stick up for myself. But I am still soft and sensitive with the world's biggest conscience.

I used to hate being called sensitive, I used to despise it. I wanted to shake that connotation when I reached high school and I was gutted when someone at high school pointed out (not in a rude way) that I was sensitive. It used to upset me, of course it did, the sensitive girl was sensitive about being called sensitive. Now I'm older, people haven't really said anything like that for a while but it still stays with me, I still have this internal image of myself.

But isn't there something tough about being sensitive? In such a harsh world its so easy to become bitter and build walls around yourself, and maybe there is something brave in staying sensitive. I'm sticking with my goodness and softness and not letting a harsh world corrupt me or my humanity. It's easy to mistake being soft for being weak but it isn't, actually there is something brave about having your emotions on show for the world and not letting the world change you.

So yes, I am emotional and soft and sensitive but maybe I can start to see this as a good thing, maybe there is real bravery in softness.

Lots of love,
Eleanor x

My experiences on the pill

Hey guys! Today I wanted to talk about my experiences of being on the pill. If you weren't aware, I have started a new little series on my blog talking about my experiences of things and today I wanted to focus on something I had been meaning to talk about for ages, the pill.

I have had a bit of a rocky journey with the pill and I wanted to show you about some of the pills I've been on and how they affected me. But with all of these stories and other ones you see it is important to remember that everyone is different and what affects me may affect others in different ways. I also want to help those of you who are not on the pill but are thinking about coming onto it and to hopefully give you a bit more information about the pills I have been on.

The first pill I was put on is Yasmin, which is quite a popular pill and I think a lot of people have been put on this at some point. It's a combined pill, which means it has oestrogen and progesterone hormones and like all combination pills it is 99% effective. This type of pill you take for 21 days and have a 7 day pill free gap in which you have a "period" although this is not a natural period and is more of a breakthrough bleed that may last the same amount as your previous period. Unfortunately, I was only on this pill for 2 months so I can't give a full review, this was because being on it started to make me sick so I went back to the doctors to make it change.

The second pill I was put on was Microgynon 30 and I was on this pill for a few years I think. This pill also goes by the name of Rigevidon, although it is debated among takes who have been put into this as to if it is the same pill. This is also a popular combined pill. I got on well with this pill for a long time. I did not notice any difference in skin (neither cleared it or made it worse particularly) or weight or even my periods. However it did stabilise my period which was nice, it made me able to predict the exact day it was going to come and it never came early or late. For the most part, I liked being on this pill. That was until last summer when, once again, I started to be frequently sick and nauseous. Now I am not 100% sure that the sickness was from this pill, it seems strange that after a long time of being on it it only just started to show symptoms however I really did not know what else to put it down to as I was often being sick randomly and them feeling okay afterwards a few times a week.

After speaking to the doctor who thought the oestrogen in pills might be having a bad effect I was put onto Cerelle, a progesterone only pill (pop pill or mini pill). These pills are taken differently, you take 28 pills with no 7 day break. This means that gradually, often periods completely stop. However, this pill really did not agree with me and instead of making my period stop, I had a period non-stop for 4 months. That's right, a continuous period for 4 bloody months and I can tell you it was not fun! So I was back to the doctors begging them to put me back onto a combined pill and that I'd just deal with the sickness.

This time, the doctor put me on Millinette, a combined pill but with less oestrogen than the other combined pills. So far, this pill seems to be working for me! Similar to Microgynon 30 I have not noticed any adverse effects.

I hope my experiences have helped you in someway! The pill works for different people in different ways and I have never had any awful effects such as depression on any of my pills and I encourage you to keep trying with different pills until you find the one for you as they are all different! Like I said before, what worst for me may not work for you and vise versa so it is important not to get scared by any horror stories you read on the internet and see for yourself. I hope this also helped to inform you about anything too!
Lots of love,
Eleanor x

My experience with body flying

Hey guys! Today I am going to be talking about body flying, something which I did this weekend. For Christmas, my parents kindly bought me and my boyfriend a red letter days experience to go body flying and we booked it for last Saturday. I thought it would be interesting to talk about if you have ever thought about doing it! There are three places we could have gone body flying, Manchester, Milton Keynes or Basingstoke and we choose to go to Manchester since it was closer. If you don't know what body flying is, it's kind of getting the experience of doing a sky-dive without needing to jump!

So first of all, you have to arrive an hour before your time, and the times I found were a little funny the were either in the morning or in the evening there were no afternoon times. Our time was half 10 which meant I had to be there for half 9, aka I had to get up early in order to drive there too! When we got there we had to fill in a form and then we waited for our time. About 45 minutes before going in, we were called in and watched a video explaining how to position yourself. Then we had to get into our suits and helmets and stuff.


We entered the air space thing first and we had to wait for everyone to have their turn. We had two minutes split into two. On the second go, you had the option to do a "hi fly" which is where the instructor spins us and takes us up the tube to the top. This was an extra £6 which was quite expensive, but it was an experience. Before even flying while we were waiting was really strange because it was quite loud and the air pressure changes so my ears popped.

Even though 2 minutes doesn't seem like a lot but actually for someone whose never done it before it really is enough! I found it really difficult to breathe because of the air which was a bit strange and it panicked me a bit. The air tube itself is really big and it seems to go up really high! Everyone is sat around watching you, as well as friends/ family of the people doing the body flying but I didn't find it daunting or anything.

So I wasn't going to opt for the hi fly thing because I am really scared of heights like really scared! But everyone else in the group went for it so I didn't want to be the only one who didn't. I actually asked him if I could only go up a a bit and not to up as high as the top which he let me. I don't think I could have gone up to the top! I honestly did find it quite scary, but it was worth it. I thought about how I wouldn't get that experience again so I went for it! Even if it did have to close my eyes! I liked that the actual flying wasn;t too high either which I liked. It was quite hard to get the actual body positions right!

Overall I would really recommend this experience! It was so much fun, and even if you are scared of heights I think you can go for it! Heights is one of my biggest fears and I didn't find it too scary, and you don't have to do the hi fly if it is too much!

I hope you enjoyed this post!
Lots of love,
Eleanor x

My experience with... Shyness

Hey guys! So actually I am putting up two posts this week and hopefully next week since I am on my holidays! When I go back to uni I'll be in the middle of exam season and I do want to keep trying to upload once a week but bare with me incase I don't manage too or if my posts are quite short! Today I  am really excited to start a new series where I talk about my experiences with something. I am not sure how often I'll do these but when you're going through something I think it's nice to hear about other's experiences so that's what I aim to do with these! I have been wanting to do some more personal posts for a while. I started this blog in order to help people and I kind of want to go back to my roots a little and right some more personal posts. I will tag all of these posts under my "little thoughts" page which you can click on at the top of my blog!

So my first post is going to be all about my experiences with shyness. I wouldn't describe myself particularly as a "shy" person, in fact, when I was younger I was always known as being very chatty! But I ca be quite quiet before you get to know me and I don't always feel comfortable in social situations even when I seem to be. and I definitely have moments where I feel incredibly shy.

First of all, I thought I would tell you some of my most awkward shy moments! I think everyone has had some really awkward moments so I thought I'd tell you about some of mine so you can laugh and cringe with me and not feel so bad about your own! One of my most awkward moments was during a presentation last year. Now I hate presentations!! I am okay with them in front of small groups if I'm not being marked on them, but when I'm being assessed on them or there is a lot of people I really freeze up and I get the dreaded voice shake. My voice just absolutely will not stop shaking even if I'm not particularly that nervous it's ridiculous and I end up being worried that my voice will shake more than the presentation content! My first marked presentation at the university last year my voice shook so much I could just tell everyone was feeling awkward! Does anyone else get this? Let me know if its not just me!

I also get really shy around my boyfriend's friends, I guess because I want to make a good impression but I don't know there's just something that makes me freeze up around them! I always just seem to make some awkward comment and one of the worst was last summer when my boyfriend introduced me to someone new. Now I don't know if this is a me thing, but I find it so difficult to think of something to say when I'm being introduced and I was a bit distracted at the time replying to my friend on my phone when he did it. Instead of acting like a normal person I instead acted like an idiot and just briefly looked up from my phone and said very disinterestedly "oh" and looked at my phone again. I wasn't trying to be rude I just freaked out a bit! It was not my finest moment!

Given some of these events I had always thought other people thought a was shy but actually I was wrong! This year when we were thinking about who should do the massive debate with the other group as part of my seminar sequence, everyone said I should do it because I was the most confident. Me! That just shows how much further I have gotten and how much better at presentations. In fact someone actually described be as "confident" the other day too! I was amazed and I think that just goes to show that even though you feel like you look anxious, actually no one knows what you're feeling! Faking it till you make it really does work!

For my personal dealings with shyness, I have found a few tips! Firstly, for presentations, I have found that practising really helps! Saying it out loud really minimises my voice shaking! For music or dance or drama exams, I have found that really putting on a character really helps, the fake it till you make it trick I mentioned earlier really works for me in these situations! Truth be told in social situations when I come over really shy I still haven't found anything that works for me! But I think that overcoming shyness is a journey and I'm definitely still on it!

I hope you enjoyed this chatty post! I have some more of these "my experiences with..." posts planned so I hope you like this little series.
What tips do you have for shyness?
Lots of love,
Eleanor x

#Beyou

Hey guys, I was asked by TreacleMoon to get involved with the #beyou campaign which they are running alongside BulliesOut . A lot of my blog content is centered towards the idea of loving yourself and ultimately that cannot happen if you don't accept who you are, which is a difficult thing (for some) to do.

Individuals are what make the world go round, we really are. The fact that everyone is special and unique is something which we hear about a lot but can be difficult to believe. Often we may hear other people tell us the opposite, that we are worthless and that is something which can be difficult to shake off. I believe that being different is something that should be celebrated, that we should celebrate ourselves. Whether we are awkward, clumsy, bad in social situations they are all part of who we are and we shouldn't hide away from these things but just embrace them.

Other people in the world are so preoccupied with themselves that most people don't care what you do and what you look like, so go ahead and let yourself be you! Wear what you want to wear and do what you want to do. Let yourself take as much from this world as you like because you only have one life in which to do it. Don't listen to people who tell you different, I promise they're not worth it but you are.

Letting yourself be free and be yourself is one of the best things you will do. Be happy, be you.
Lots of love
Eleanor x

A negative mind will never give you a positive life

Hey guys! Today's little thought is focused on different mindsets and how our mindset can affect our lives. Being in a negative mindset will have negative outcomes on our lives. Thinking in a negative way can be more dangerous than we realise and it affects how we see the world too. We start to take in information that is negative rather than the positive stuff that is happening around us too. If this continues, we will end up sad and not be able to enjoy life the way we should be.

It's important to catch the negative thinking before it develops, make a conscious effort to see things in a better light. Change the things you focus on too, don't focus on what you didn't do great on or what went wrong, but on the things you did well and continue to do them. Think of criticism or bad things as things you can improve on, not something that is set in stone or something that defines you.

Of course it is not possible to be positive all the time, but finding yourself slipping into a habit where everything is bad and you feel it affecting you, may mean you have to go to the doctors if it is serious. If however you know the reason your sad is say exam period or something you know which is temporary, get through this time by focuses on what is good. By doing this you often find you succeed better too.

Surround yourself with people who make you feel better too, your mum or gran or friends or pets. Talk to these people and even things like this can make us feel more positive which gives a positive outcome.

A positive outlook= a positive outcome.

This will take time and practice but its definitely worth it!
Lots of love
Eleanor x

Don't give up because of one setback

Hey guys! I am finally back to posting after having a little break for freshers week and settling into university. My posts should be back to their usual structure. You can see my post about my freshers week over on my lifestyle blog here. I am currently absolutely dying from freshers flu which is a bit annoying as my lectures start soon! Nevertheless, today's little thought is about carrying on when something goes wrong.

I often talk about not giving up on my little thought tuesdays because it is something that I think is really important. However it is difficult to carry on after a setback. I really love this quote...

It seems so silly when we think about it yet its so easy to do so. Every time I have some chocolate I always feel like "Oh well I'll start eating better tomorrow or next week" which makes no sense and I think its the same in lots of situations. I feel like giving up completely because I have had one setback. It's so easy to just give everything up because one thing has gone wrong.

Why do our minds automatically jump to the worst conclusions? One setback such as eating some chocolate or one awkward encounter or bad grade should not affect the rest of our goals, or even the rest of the day. Just because you got a bad grade in one subject doesn't mean you should give up on that or the rest of your subjects, just as eating some chocolate doesn't mean you can't eat healthily for the rest of the day.

You don't need to make things worse than they already are, accept the setback and don't let it affect everything else.
Lots of love,
Eleanor x

Letter to my insecurities

Hey guys! Today's little thought is based around the idea that for girls especially (but also for boys!) we often feel like it's our job to look "pretty." By pretty I mean the socially constructed idea of what "pretty" is. You know the feeling of terror when you go out without make-up on, that we are letting someone down. It doesn't make sense. We don't have to look a certain way. Our imperfections are okay and we can and should love ourselves for how we look now. To prove this, I have written this letter about the parts of me that I get insecure about. I hope you enjoy and feel free to also do this letter, to show people how important and not "big-headed" it is to love yourself and your imperfections.

To myself and anyone else who feels the need to comment upon how I look,

I do not have the ideal body type. I am not six foot 10 with big boobs and flawless skin. But that does not mean I am not beautiful, that does not mean I should not love my body.

I have no boobs. Nothing. Nada. They have not grown for five years and there is no cleavage to speak off. But yano know what? I do not have back pain and these babies will stay perky for a lot longer.

I do not have a flat stomach. I have a little stomach pouch at the bottom of my stomach. But so what? This protects my important organs so that one day I can have a baby. 

I am bottom heavy to say the least. I have a pear shaped body with no thigh gap to speak off and a rather large behind. Who cares? Big butts are in and if someone tells me my thighs are too big then I had snap their head off like a walnut between these big boys.

I have random fat at the back of my calves that's really prominent and no one else seems to have. But do you know what my legs do? They help me walk and run and dance and if they were thinner I might not be able to do that which would suck.

Yes, my face is covered with acne marks and and spots. But my hair and natural hair colour is a gift from the gods, it is smooth and silky as fuck. I have a cute button nose and I have eyes you can get lost in, they're massive and beautiful and deep. 

I am well aware I am 4ft10, you do not need to comment on my hight. I'm smaller than the cute "small girl" phenomena on the internet, I am really tiny but that's okay. It's me and it's rad as hell. 

Our  bodies was not designed to please others. They were not designed so that we should be aesthetically pleasing. It was designed so we can walk and talk and think. So we can learn and try and succeed. So we can brace all weathers, so we can have opinions and love and live and laugh and cry and feel. 

Our bodies were not made to be pretty

They were made to be amazing.

So what you failed?

Hey guys! I'm guessing by now everyone has had their exam results back, GCSE's, A levels, uni and others. I wanted to focus today's little thought on these results. To most people, the little letter on a piece of paper handed to you on this fateful day is important. It was to me too. Sleepless nights the night before, shaking hands, I bet these are all familiar feelings. I have had joy, disappointment and everything in between on various different exam results day.

If you do well, it's brilliant and I am very happy for you. If you are like me however and you are forever feeling like you don't get what you deserve or you don't do as well as hoped, I know how horrible that can feel.

On my year 12 results day I was horrified at my results and cried and cried and stormed and swore, the whole fiasco and that was while I was still in the hall.

This year, I got the same results but this time I didn't have a massive show, I simply accepted it and moved on.

At the end of the day although I did not get into my first choice of university and the grades I got did not reflect how hard I worked, it truly is not the end of the world. There are other opportunities, other universities, other courses, other schools, other ways in. Often these opportunities are better than what you wanted originally.

In my short life, I have learnt that things in life very rarley go the way you want them too. and you have to be prepared to accept that and move on. You cannot grow as a person if you continue to let yourself be consumed with what you wished had happened or hoped had happened. You cannot keep your mind closed to other possibilities or your going to seriously create a problem for yourself.

So what? You failed, you didn't get the grades, you didn't get the job, you made a mistake.
What do you do?

You pick yourself up, you hold your head up and you keep going. You keep trying. Don't let yourself give up because of a number on a paper, they don't reflect you so keep fighting and keep plodding on.

Lots of love
Eleanor x

There's only so far you can help

Hey guys! Today's little thought is on the idea that there is only so far we can help people. As friends, or as people who care a lot about other peoples happiness, it can be easy to convince yourself that you can take on other peoples problems and completely and utterly help them. We believe that because we want to, we want to believe that we are all professionals and can help our friends or people we meet on the internet. As you know as part of my blogging, I tackle a lot of issues such as mental health disorders and body image and such and I often talk on-line to people with these issues. I think that when I first started out, I wanted to believe I could help everyone, but this isn't true. We can try to make people feel better and help them as much as possible and not give up, but at the end of the day the people you are talking to have to want to help themselves too.

This isn't me telling you not to help your friends or anything like that, but to be a bit more cautious. Remember that it is not healthy for yourself to take full responsibility for a persons problems. It is not healthy for you to feel as though someone completely relies on you. You are human and at some point you will have problems too and it is not going to help you or anyone else by making someone become dependent on you. If you "break down" it ends up being worse for both of you.

I was in a situation once where someone did this, they relied on me and only me to tell their problems too and to help them, and they were series problems too. This was way to too much and after a while I felt suffocated and sad and felt as though I had too much responsibility. It's not fair on you to take on so much weight.

Of course if your friends are sad, it is your job to make them feel better to help them in any way you can but remember that it's not always possible to completely help them and solve all their problems. People have to help themselves too and while being there for them and giving them as much advice as possible is one of the most important things, don't let yourself become their only friend or hope. Make sure that if problems are serious, they are talking to others and offer guidance to councillors. Remember you are human too and will suffer from your own problems.

Lots of love
Eleanor x

If you don't do it...someone else will

Hey guys! Todays little thought is based around something which came to me the other day while I was in a bookshop. I am constantly coming up with new ideas for novels, I love to create scenarios and characters and plan out novel ideas- ideas that I will probably never write. While I was in the shop, I picked up a book and read the blurb of a book which was very similar to an idea I had once had, almost identical. Which really got me thinking about how if you don't go for something, someone else will.

This happens in cases such as jobs too, if you don't go for that job or aren't as persistent, someone else will and they will get the job you wanted. I think life is too short to simply sit back and hope things come your way, nine times out of ten you have to peruse something you want to. At the end of the day, it's your loss if you don't.

It goes with the idea of "get up and get it." There is little point in waiting or hanging around, if you have an idea or you want to do something, just do it before someone comes up with the same idea. In relationships too, all relationships can be worked on and if you don't show your partner respect and love, someone else will do and you will loose your relationship.

It has been seen in history many times, two people come up with similar ideas and yet we only remember one name. Always pioneer your ideas!

Lots of love
Eleanor x

the friend zone myth

Hey guys! Today's little thought is on the "friend zone" an increasingly popular phrase. The friend zone is the idea that (usually) a woman rejects a man because they are too close friends. The way this is used, often blames woman for rejecting men they do not want to be with, and is used as a way of making women feel guilty for their decision. Men complain they are "too far in the friend zone" that they cannot have sex or be in a relationship with this woman. It is often stated that women ignore these "nice men" and go for the jerk.

The friend zone acts as a way of controlling women. It is used as a way of making women feel guilty or blaming them for the fact they do not want to be with a particular man. There is no such thing as the friend zone. Women are attracted to who they are attracted too no matter weather you are friends with them or not. The friend zone gives the impression that the only reason men are friends or are nice to women, is so that they can have sex with her, spending time with a woman is seen a an investment and if it doesn't pay off they are in the friend zone. It takes away the idea that men are simply friends with woman because they want to be, because they like the idea of simple friendship and instead want something more.

By using this many women feel hurt, someone they thought was their friend, was actually using them for something more and when, unsurprisingly, it turns out the woman does not want to be more than the original friendship, these men make a deal of it and say they are in a mythical place called the friend zone. It is not a friend zone, its just an excuse for them not to face the reality that a woman simply does not want to be with you.

People who believe in the friend zone, belief that if you are nice to a woman, she owes you something, that somehow she owes it to you to be in a relationship with you or have sex with you. As if it is that mans right to be in a relationship with a woman, which take away a woman's right to choose who she wants to be with. This can actually lead to woman being in danger, recently when some men have been rejected, they have killed these women, or even gone on a killing spree, killing lots of innocent woman for the simple fact that one woman did not have an attraction towards them.

If you want to read more on why the frienzone is a myth and is used to control woman, see this artical here

Lots of Love
Eleanor x

loving youself

Hey guys! Todays little thought is on something that is quite personal to me. Something i struggle with and i believe a lot of people struggle with is being able to love yourself. When we are asked what we love, the answer of "me" is probably not one which comes to your mind instantly, if at all. I have struggled a lot with "loving myself" in the past. When i was younger i suffered from acne when not many of my classmates did, then as i got older i had to come to terms with my IBS and then I started to struggle with my weight. I think that because of the pressure young teenagers experience, to look and be a certien way we grow up with expectations which are hard, nay impossibe to reach.

For some of us, loving ourselves can come easy, but for some, me included it is something we have to work on. Sometimes we have to remind ourselves that we are loved and amazing the way we are. I suggest little post it notes stuck around, maybe one on a mirror or closet where you look every day. Taking time to give yourself treats, have an at home spa day with your friends, or a film and junk food night.

Your body is yours. Its important to treat it right with things you need such as water and exercise. Never feel pressured to use your body in a certain way either, its yours not someone else's and by reminding yourself of this it can be the first step to loving yourself.

Remind yourself of your achivements, all those cetificats your parents kept, even the dolphin swimming ones, you did that and that is an achivement. Dont compare youre achivements to someone elses. This is a massive step in loving yourself, do not measure yourself against someone else. Focus on your own goals and your own strengths and not someone else's.

I know its hard but i know we can all work on it! Everyday i want you to tweet something positive about yourself and tag it #littlepositivethoughts so that we can all see and read them making a community of positivity!
Lots of love
Eleanor x

Being different

Hey guys! Hope you are all doing okay! Today's little thought is all about celebrating your differences and what makes you different to other people. I found this quote which sums up what I mean

Everyone has differences, different looks, different characteristics ect. Often the media bombard us with the idea of an "ideal" person from a young age, and often this pretence that we have to live up to a certain way often follows us throughout our lives. What makes it harder, is that this is physically and literally impossible. We cannot all be this idea of a "perfect" person ie look the ideal way act the ideal way because as I said above, we are all different. And this is just a reminder that that is okay. In fact, its amazing. The idea of what is ideal is socially constructed, it does not exist. A life full of the same people would be boring, it is boring, the "ideal person" is boring. Everyone has differences and that is really awesome, people have different strengths and weaknesses and that means people are better suited to one thing and not other things and that's okay. That's how life keeps running. You may be bad at English but really good at maths. Or you may be shocking at art but really good at music or be a really kind and that's really cool too.

We all look different too, some of us are tall, short, in between. Blonde haired, brown haired, red haired, black haired, no haired. All of these are awesome, none is worse than the other. There is no such thins as a "bad body" or a "good body" they are just bodies and all are as amazing as the other. Whether they are larger, smaller, whether some parts don't seem to work like other peoples do, they're still bodies, and they're still really cool. It's okay not to look a certain way or not to fit into a socially determined category. It doesn't mean we should look down on people who do seem to fit this "ideal person" it just means that instead of comparing ourselves and measuring our worth against this, we should instead realise that different does not mean bad.

Lots of Love
Eleanor x